The Boy's Club

Since I’ve been living among Australians for the past 2 months, one of the most fascinating cultural differences I’ve noticed is the way that guys interact with each other. Actually, I should correct myself because guys are never called guys here but rather “boys.” Not only are Australian boys different from American ones in that they wear short shorts with Ugg boots, but also in their male friendships. “Mateship” is a strong cultural idiom present in Australia which embodies equality, loyalty, and friendship. But mateship means far more than just friendship. It is probably the strongest bond that can be formed between males and is taken extremely seriously down under.

As you walk into the dining hall, it is hard not to notice the long, rectangular table of about 30 seats filled completely with boys. It’s the same table every day. It’s always packed tight with boys. Always boys. The biggest social taboo a girl could make would be making the mistake of taking a seat at this holy table. This is “The Boy’s Club.” It’s much different than the typical college “football table” or “soccer table” because all of these boys play different sports and study different majors; however, they are all good mates and therefore exclusive to The Boys Club.




Catie and I took this picture at dinner one night. It’s not very good; however, it’s the best stalker pictures we could get without being too obvious. When waiting in line for dinner one night, an Aussie girl explained The Boys Club to Catie and me a little bit better. There’s one boy at the table, let’s call him…Bob. He’s the head of The Boy’s Club, also known as “Chick Hater” (even though he has a girlfriend?). The Boy’s Club also has a “muscle house” or “man cave” as we like to call it, where Chick Hater said “NO CHICKS ARE ALLOWED!” This is just a hangout area in a dark corner of the basement of our dorm, and who knows what goes on down there (I’ll probably never know). It’s also odd that they never come and leave the “man cave” together. I’ll always see them going in separately with 3 beers in one hand and 2 bags of chips in the other, ready to do their mysterious male bonding.

Most of the boys also have nicknames. However, they are typically never simply their last names. Rather, The Boy’s Club includes boys named Slappy, Coffee, TBM (The Beautiful Man), Pebbles, and Spanky. And what would a club be without a point system? Everyone starts out with the same number of points. However, it’s NOT very “cool” to hang out with girls too much. The chicks come in the way of mate time. So if you start dating a girl or liking one, you’re limited to the amount of time you’re allowed to spend with her (less than with the boys!). If you begin to hang out with a chick too much then that’s when you begin to loose precious points. The more points you loose, the more likelihood of you being…dundundun…KICKED OUT OF THE BOYS CLUB! This is serious business! So what are the boys to do? They sneak around to see their women…this includes crawling through windows, secret rendezvous, and the like. And if you’re dating a boy in The Boy’s Club then you’re in quite a sticky situation yourself. Break one of the boy’s hearts and you’re shunned for life. Now you got 30+ boys who probably won’t ever look at you again.

I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous and something a bunch of 5 year olds would make up, but I swear it’s true. Maybe I should start up a girls club?

I have apologize, I will update again soon about my trip to Sydney and the Blue Mountains as soon as I finish this research paper I’m working on. Catch ya later!